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Is it just a developmental lag?

Reading articles in Time saying
“….kids with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD..........hit peak ……….. an average of three years later than other kids” gave me some hope that I might actually not have to grapple with my monster in my later adult years. NIH scientists comparing brain scans of children 6 to 16, the ADHD and non-ADHD, found that “particularly those (parts) involved in thinking, attention and planning matured an average of three years later than healthy (sic) brains, but otherwise followed normal patterns of development.” Following this logic, the ADHD brain should normalize as one grows old. Some ADHD children do outgrow it.

However, doing a reality check with myself……no such luck!!!! It’s almost as if the older I get, the more addled this part of my brain gets. Ah yes! There was no trace of this in my school years. Outwardly no one would ever say I had any of these problems. I used to be very absent minded. If I was reading, people could walk into the room say something to me, even pick up the chair I was sitting on and move it to a different location and I could quite happily still continue reading, sometimes even unaware. Happily in those days “absent mindedness” was quite an acceptable trait. People were willing to forgive minor forgetfulness. It even had shades of a professorial quality.

It’s when I first started running a household on my own that trying to bring the kitchen back to order or keep stuff from accumulating on my desk turned out to be such a problem. It’s only in the last year or so that I even heard of the term ADD and ADHD. So for me there was no period of denial. Awareness and the education that came along with it actually empowered me. It helped me understand why things were always so difficult for me. It helped me become a little more patient with myself. I thought Ok so I’m not good for nothing! I’m not lazy and disorganized and messy. It’s just my ADD. My ADD is a monster I live and grapple with everyday. But it’s not me. It does not define me. I can be patient with myself and learn behaviors to help me cope. I can join focus groups and hear experts in the field like Dr. Ari Tuckman and Sari Solden who can teach us strategies for coping. They can give us hope and energy to combat our everyday battles.

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